Like Golden Flower, I have studied the Qabalah and the Tree of Life for decades. First, at an intellectual level in my teens, then, as the seeds that were planted grew in my heart, from what I suppose you could call a holistic angle. The symbolism of the Tree of Life is an integral part of the way I live and see the events of everyday life.
The Tree is, in my experience, a living symbol that can both map, explain and direct when applied to everyday life, as well as pointing the way to answer the more esoteric questions.
In my own life, this year, there has been massive upheaval, a serious shift in focus, and the life I thought I had came right down to the wire. Relationships, work, health, home, even my life itself came under threat. At one point I was on the brink of losing everything and within minutes of dying.
Now, I could have given in to despair... the Gods know there was enough cause! But, I have known the Tree for so many years that it has unconsciously become a conscious part of all that I do. I had, for some time, been getting bogged down in everyday problems, letting them affect me adversely to a point where I felt I was not functioning with any clarity. The only time I felt myself to be crystal clear was during meditation and the pursuit of my studies. The rest of the time I felt as if I was wading through treacle.
During one series of meditations, it occurred to me that the negative aspects of Geburah were overly dominant and that my life was ruled by fear. With this realisation came the determination to do something about it! As soon as I had fixed this resolve in my mind, things started happening even faster. The situation came to a head and I felt that the life I knew was in the balance and that the scales were teetering unsteadily. Which way they would fall, I did not know.
I gritted my teeth and plodded on. The blade of the Cosmic Surgeon hacked at great chunks of my life.
Then, there came a moment when I felt the inner crisis give way to a small, still place of peace and clarity. The upheavals had cleared away the accumulated dross of my life. Things I had clung to as familiar, comfortable. Not realising that even fear, because it is familiar, can be a security blanket.
I had the sense that the inner crisis had passed, all was resolved on the inner levels, and that all I had to do was translate that into the concrete reality of the physical plane.
There was still just as much of a mess on the surface of my life, but I knew what to do. I had to let go of it all. I had to give up everything that I was clinging to, through fear, through habit, even through love. Even, or perhaps especially, the precious image of my self that I had so fondly cherished.
That's a galling prospect! To find oneself weak where one thought oneself strong; fragile and fallible where one took pride. And the shame of finding oneself strong, where cowardice had allowed one to believe oneself too weak to act.
I took some appallingly drastic actions. Some that my family did not understand and may never do so. For a few days everything hung in the balance and I was afraid of what I'd done.
However, as the dust settled and Geburah sheathed the sword, I found my life had been 'spring cleaned'. The effete and useless were gone. Relationships that had been damaged, perversely, by my very desire to protect people, were suddenly clearer and stronger than I could have imagined. Family members who had been at odds with each other were pulling together. I was offered a new job. Our home was saved. So many outward confirmations that it was very like being hit with a brick... you couldn't ignore it!
My attitude too, has changed drastically. I have taken many positive steps over the past few months that have required a confidence I did not have a little while ago. I have recovered my serenity, yet there is an energy and lightness that was missing before. I can see where I went wrong, and it doesn't matter. It is all part of the pattern of growth on the Tree. Personal evolution. It is where I go next that matters, based on the choices I make.
The point of my rambling is this:
The forces of the Tree act in everything we do, whether we Will or no. Whether we believe, whether we are aware, or not, for they are the forces of life itself. By choosing to consciously follow the journey map the Tree provides, we can make changes. And though many of us realise this in esoteric terms, it is when we apply those same rules to the simple act of daily living that the results are drastic and tangible.
By accepting that it is not just a case of 'as above, so below' but also 'as without, so within', we allow the Tree that is our inner framework to grow and flow through our lives.
Even the Fiery Serpents of Geburah are beautiful when viewed through the eyes of Binah.
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