I am drawn to share with you my current experience of a recent change in spirit guides, which has proved a profound and incredibly challenging time for me.
I sensed a week or so ago that my beloved Monk spirit guide’s energy had not been around me like before but thought nothing of it until earlier this week a Medium friend of mine sent me the following message:
“Have you noticed that one of your main spirit guides no longer seems to be around you so much? As I was sitting quietly a spirit person claiming to be this guide drew close to me. He told me that it was his job to get you to the point where you are at this time in your life and now others will be working more close to you. He has promised that he will always be connected to you and will be watching over you; however you may no longer be aware of him.”
On reading these words I immediately burst into tears and feelings of desolation and abandonment engulfed me. It was like a dagger in my heart, as I felt the emotions of losing someone so dear to me, whom I had been working with for so long. I recognised that the true feeling was in fact grief, although I was also aware of the voice in my head telling me it was crazy to feel grief over someone who was never physically present in my life. But my Monk had been a very important part of my life and suddenly he was gone. I rationalised my thoughts and understood that he had taken a step back in order for me to progress further, spiritually, with the help of guides of a higher vibration and this was, indeed, an exciting prospect for me but it still remained totally overshadowed by the sadness within my heart.
As I went to get up off the chair I felt a stiffness in my lower back and then the pain kicked in. The grief had turned inwards and was manifesting as pain and weakness in my back. I couldn’t stand up straight and as I tried to walk, my back felt so weak that I feared I would collapse at any moment. I was afraid! What was happening to me? I understood why my spirit guides had changed but why was it having such a detrimental effect on me both physically and emotionally? I knew that back pain translates as feeling unsupported in life, and because Monk had moved on I did feel somewhat unsupported but surely not insofar as to create this?
During the following night in bed I woke up at 3AM in chronic pain and unable to move to turn over. I cried out “What is happening to me?” and yet received no answer, although my husband was convinced it was due to the fact that I had carried heavy shopping bags a couple of days before (which did make me chuckle, but even that hurt so I quickly stopped)! After I agonisingly managed to manoeuvre myself to turn over, as I was dropping back off to sleep I received my true answer in a series flash-backs of my life. In these flash-backs either someone had left me or a person or pet had died and I had felt very deeply abandoned. It even stemmed as far back as the time of my birth in hospital when the nurses and doctors took me away from my mother for periods of time and as that tiny baby I felt totally abandoned, unsupported and alone in the world.
The following morning I was able to make sense of it all. My feeling of abandonment since learning of my Monk’s departure had triggered within me the same feelings I had experienced and bottled up over my whole lifetime (possibly even before that, in past lifetimes) and my task was to go back and heal these times with the love I now have in my heart and in turn heal the physical pain in my back. I had been given this amazing opportunity to heal and release this pain within me in order to free up some space for the wonderful gifts of the future! Fortunately I had already gone through a profound healing experience last year when I cured myself of M.E/Fibromyalgia & Depression using The Lightning Process (www.lightningprocess.com) and so I very strongly believe in my power as a human being to heal myself (a power which we all have within us and comes from spirit).
Today, as I was bent over the bathroom sink in pain, trying to clean my teeth, I cranked my neck to see myself in the mirror – the reflection was a bent form, all hunched over and didn’t look like me at all. I started to say out loud, over and over, “I am supported in life. I support myself. The universe supports me.” The more I said these words the stronger I felt the energy spinning in my chakras and all around me and gradually with each repetition I corrected my spine and perfected my posture until I was stood up straight and smiling! “See?” I said to myself, “You can do this!”
The next stage in my healing process was to begin the steps of The Lightning Process and in doing so I connected to a powerful Energy which I was able to communicate with through my thoughts and spoken word. This Energy guided me on a very powerful healing meditation wherein I re-traced the significant times of my life that I had felt abandoned and I healed myself within those times with the intention of the Healing White Light and the Love within my heart. As each version of myself was healed I watched as the picture of my past altered and, for example, as a child I saw myself making friends on my first day at school instead of feeling isolated, and as a young adult I saw myself become stronger emotionally and wonder why I’d ever chosen a certain person as my first boyfriend! It was incredibly empowering to witness these things and, of course, whatever you give out comes back to you multiplied and so the Energy Being guided me to notice the love increasing in my own heart.
I went on to visualise myself as a great oak tree with my roots in the ground and my trunk thick and strong. I sensed how I was powerfully supported by myself and by Mother Nature. I then proceeded to see myself as I am now, being supported in the most powerful and yet strangely obvious ways: the air in my lungs, the Earth beneath my feet, the food I eat, the water I drink, my physical human body itself, my relationships with physical and spiritual family, friends, guides and angels, the roof over my head, the car I drive, the bed on which I sleep, the chair in which I sit, the paths I walk, the grass I cut, the flowers I tend to in my garden, the trees I admire from my front window...these thoughts flooded my mind and I experienced a deep awareness of how much I am actually supported in my life without me fully realising. I suddenly felt strongly connected with my surroundings, with the Energy around me, with everything and this oneness has to mean that I support everything and in turn everything supports me. It was at this point that I asked who the Energy Being was and she laughed softly and said “You know who I am.” Yes, indeed I knew her; she was me (my Higher Self).
Through this moving experience I have realised how important my participation in this lifetime on planet Earth really is and how important my place within the universe is...
It is time for me to believe in myself and to show the world Who I Really Am, understanding that whether I am accepted or rejected, it doesn’t matter for I am always supported and always loved – always and all ways - and there is no greater power than the power of Love.
I am healing (it is done) and I am Love.
Love and Light to you all.
Article written on 26th August 2011.
For more information about the author check out www.daysgreetings.co.uk
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